I have officially left my real estate development company, CC Solutions. In the spirit of being totally open and honest (my intention last year) I wanted to write about why I decided to walk away and where I’m going now. Maybe this will help someone who is debating a major decision in their life or someone who is feeling lost.
Lost. That is really how I felt back in September/ October of last year. I explained in an earlier post that I was super “achievement” focused and felt like I wasn’t moving down my authentic path. I put immense pressure and stress on myself about hitting goals and results. And while goal setting is necessary and a great thing to do, it should not be creating pressure or stress. Goals should be signposts that let you know you are on your path, that is it.
Months of reflection and learning about Stoicism, Dharma, and mindfulness all culminated in me discovering the term, “Let go of the fruit.” This means that in order to travel down your authentic path, you need to not be obsessed with the results or achievements of your pursuits. You must love the process of what you are doing. You must believe in what you are doing so much that the pursuit on it’s own is worth it. Give yourself entirely to your work, but let go of the attachment to the results.
The essential question to ask yourself here is this, “What would you do if you know you WOULD fail?”
What is so authentic to your path that you would do it even if you knew you would fail?
This question hit me like a bag of bricks.
Was CC Solutions something I would do if I KNEW I would fail? It was a clear no.
CC Solutions, though I loved my team and we were doing amazing things in Boston, was not solving the problem I wanted to solve. It wasn’t authentic to me and my path.
I needed to be true to myself, be Essential and focus on getting to my End Goals.
End Goals force you to ask not “What do you want to be or what do you want to have? (those are means goals)” but rather ask, “How do I want to feel?” “What sets my soul on fire?”
I reflected for weeks. Literally giving myself full days of reflection, which is extremely uncomfortable for a “productive, crush your to-do list” guy like myself. I journaled for hours, meditated, went for walks in the middle of the day. I kept asking myself these questions:
“What sets my soul on fire?”
“How do I want to feel at the end of the day?”
“What would I do if I knew I would fail.”
“What major problem do I want to solve?”
“What day to day problems do I like to solve (basically what work do you enjoy doing day to day)?”
All of this reflection led me to see the major problem I wanted to solve:
The unfulfilled world we live in. The multitude of people who are unfulfilled and unhappy
My authentic path is to empower people to be more fulfilled and happy.
And funny enough, this has always been the case. As I was a wrestler coaching other wrestlers, as an Executive in Student Painters, and even later in life with my volunteer efforts. I have always been trying to help people (and myself) become more fulfilled and happy.
I let my obsession with achievements and results lead me astray from my authentic path, but opening myself up to reflection and mindfulness brought me back.
So that is what I am going pursue going forward. How can I empower more people to be fulfilled and happy? How can I help entrepreneurs do this? Young adults? High schoolers?
That is my authentic path, my dharma.
I left the company I built for 2 years in order to pursue this. I took a risk to walk away and start over. To re-enter the uknown. But I can honestly say this is the most grounded and “aligned” I have ever felt in my life. I know this is a path worth pursuing, even if I fail. And in that, I am truly letting go of the fruit.